I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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