Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
