My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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