Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
