There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
