god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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