We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
