Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
