I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
