no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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