She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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