At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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