She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he was CRYING into my vagina
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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