did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
