my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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