Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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