Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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