no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
