Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
