so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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