He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
be right there i have to get my cape
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
