Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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