Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
