Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
