hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize