woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.