For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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