I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.