Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
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Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
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I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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