God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
