we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
