I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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