Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
