My friends, they love my intelligence
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
