Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
