okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
