dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
