Me too!
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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