Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
