Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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