i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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