So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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