its not stalking. its research.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
