Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
