For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
