please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
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I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
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I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize