that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
