he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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