I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Girls should come with a carfax report
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
