we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
