I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
