I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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