Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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