lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
