i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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