I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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