I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize