whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
What a dumb baby whore.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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