Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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