We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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