We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
