I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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